A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Dear Haley-Hero,

It's bad form to start anything by apologizing, except actual apologies, so I'm going to do my best to not say I'm sorry for being three days late on our proposed schedule. The New Year, though, see? I know you see. Remember when we were single and in school and seemed to master everything that came our ways? Now we consider it a good day if we put real clothes on in the morning and a really good day if we add some mascara.

We had a conversation about budgeting the other day, not our first of course and probably not our last. Nate and I did too. We resolved to get back on our budget (Decembers are tough on budgets unless of course you budget earlier in the year for them, which we did not) in the new year. I was feeling mighty proud that we've lowered our grocery bill by about $200 a month since we started budgeting until I read a blogger who spends $300 a month on groceries for her family of five. Of course she didn't say what she buys so I console myself with imagining she spends it all on cereal and chips and Twinkies and cheese puffs instead of healthy fruits, vegetables, and meats—which are more expensive, see?

Do you ever find yourself feeling guilty for your whole existence? It usually starts, for me, by feeling guilty that we spend X amount a month on groceries for just the two of us and then it spirals down fast. I start feeling guilty that I'm not a good home-maker, wife, friend, sister, daughter, everything. Before I know it, I find myself apologizing for my whole existence (which is why you ought to congratulate me on my opening sentence). At the close of 2016 I realized I have been more motivated by guilt this year than joy and I deeply want that to change.

I need your help, though, friend. Even though we've lived on opposite coasts for the entirety of our friendship and almost every one of our conversations has been through some form of digital communication (FaceTime, Google Chat, Text, Phone), you've always been able to take my digital face in your hands and shake some ever loving sense into it. I'm grateful for that and always will be. I never feel guilty about our friendship and that's partially because you've never let me.

We ate this salad the other night with roasted chicken drumsticks with a cinnamon maple sauce. We eat a lot of salad in the summer, but sometimes it feels like we eat even more in the winter because we crave greens so much. We usually try to use in-season greens like kale, but I had a box of spinach I wanted to use. This fed us for dinner (seconds for Nate), and lunches for both of us the next day, as well as a bit left which we'll use this weekend when we eat all our leftovers.

Pear Pomegranate Spinach Salad

Half a bulb of fennel

Seeds from one pomegranate

One pear

Crumbled goat cheese

Pumpkin seeds

Four big handfuls of chopped spinach

Half a handful of walnuts

Dressing

Juice from one lemon

A few tablespoons of olive oil (or avocado oil, but we were out)

Bit of salt and pepper

Two cloves of garlic, chopped

Don't pour it over until the salad is on your plate, otherwise it soaks the spinach through and ruins it for leftovers.

I just mixed together a bit of maple syrup, cinnamon, a generous bit of pepper and some salt and poured it over the drumsticks before putting in the oven on 375 for 35-40 minutes (until they reached 160 internal temp). It was a simple meal.

My favorite part of winter salads are all the pomegranates, and it's not just the juicy bursts when you bite down on them, it's the process of scouring and de-seeding the pomegranate itself. It always feels so slow and calming to me. Here's the method I use. I don't rush it, I just let it be what it is: a slow and intentional process. A bit like friendships and budgeting and marriage.